Prince Charming in the Dirt

One of the most interesting sights witnessed in the Kenyan countryside is the massive transformation folks undergo between morning and afternoon of every working day. Almost like the caterpillar turning into a butterfly. Stay with me and it will all make sense.

As I approach my marital home I see a young lad, probably fifteen, bent over a pile of maize stems, panga in hand as he goes about preparing cattle feed. He is mostly brown, never mind the original colour of his clothes. You see, he has been in the shamba all morning, digging, harvesting, fetching cattle feed and milliard other chores in the soily field. As such both his skin and clothes are covered in a thin layer of red earth.

The car slows down and we say hi. My mum-in-law is there too, giving instructions to the lad and helping where she can though she is elderly and can no longer do too much.

Well, with our arrival all shamba jobs stop and we all head for the house. A flurry of activity begins as lunch is prepared and served amidst much conversation about how everyone is.

Then mum-in-law calls for the young lad and he’s nowhere to be seen. He has gone off to take a bath, we gather, before having his lunch.

20 minutes or so later he reappears, and we instinctively suppress a gasp. ‘Good Lord, do you look different!’ I mean the lad, not the Lord.

In that space of 20 minutes, he has transformed from a dirt-clad country boy in tattered clothes barely drawing a second glance, to a young, even taller handsome prince to die for, dressed to kill and looking like he has never seen the inside of a farm nor encountered farm appliances. ‘Well,’ my husband and I exchange knowing glances, ‘the girls had just better watch out!’

Only this is not a one off occurrence. It’s replicated in homes across the countryside and seems to occur anywhere between the hours of one to four o’clock depending on how much work the family has to do that day. It was the same when I was growing up in the village. You see, most of these people are decent, clean folks, even intelligent students in some of the best schools who, nevertheless, cannot go to the shamba in their Sunday best nor do they have a deal with the earth and dirt not to come near them. So they roll up their sleeves, put on appropriate dirt wear and go to work, in the spirit of nation building. Then, as soon as they are done for the day, they hit the shower or bath as the case might be, groom themselves and change into clean clothes, and God help you if you meet with any of them at this point for you will go weak at the knees. Only it may be the same person you had barely glanced at earlier as you drove or walked past nose in the air wondering how anyone could look so - what’s the word - earth-like?

Well, that’s upcountry for you. Of course there are also those who have decided upcountry equals dirt and are permanently looking and dressed to match with the earth but that’s a personal choice, not a requirement. So next time you encounter a wide-eyed, earth coloured grinning lad with hoe or jembe at hand, don’t be too quick to dismiss him. You may just be looking at your gorgeous daughter's future husband... . Ha ha ha, and I’m not kidding either!

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Of Queues and Personal Space

Over the years I’ve observed curiously our queuing habits, be that in banks, bus-stops, public offices, at events etc. Whereas I can control how much space between me and the person infront, the person behind is much harder to contain. One only hopes he/she has a sense of personal space otherwise you can literally feel them brushing against your back or leaning heavily on you so that it actually feels like you’re carrying them. And if you step forward to create a bit of space they quickly close the gap. The fact that you can only be served one person at a time, no matter what distance there is between you, does not seem to matter. It’s as if by pushing they will somehow be served faster.

That one foot or so between you and the persons standing or sitting on either side of you, front or back, that is your precious Personal-Space. It’s not always so obvious however to most people that it’s a place not to budge into without authority, consent or permission.

Now, like on our roads, there might be a reason for this behaviour. Besides the fact that there never seems to be enough of anything therefore ‘Survival of the Fittest’ comes to play, we are used to people cutting queues for all sorts of dubious reasons. Like on our roads where when you leave the all-crucial braking distance between yourself and the vehicle infront you can almost be sure a mad driver will promptly etch himself into that space - so are our queues. And so for us protecting our personal space takes on a twisted, warped meaning – press in as closely as possible, drive as closely as possible to the vehicle infront, that way there will be no space for line cutters. We protect our space by eliminating it!

At times we push the queue out of shape, and curves, corners and bulges appear till it gets difficult to tell who is where.

I’m sure you’ve witnessed more than once the phenomenon where everyone has been waiting patiently in queue only for five people to appear at once and wedge themselves ahead of you because, apparently, they ‘were together’ with the person infront of you.

Now what on earth does that mean? What is the point of queuing at all if someone who gets out of bed when I’m already in the queue can come and catch up with me because ‘tulikuwa na huyu’? (we were together?)

We could borrow a leaf from much of the West where really first-come first-served means just that. And because of this assurance that no one will cut the queue, people there tend to be courteous and definitely respect others' personal space. One might of course argue they have everything, relatively speaking, and have little need to jostle. True, but courtesy is learned, and goes a long way in improving our way of life. If we practised courtesy in those places where we have no need to push like banks, and wedding food queues, then we will have started on a real journey of recovery and hopefully, as other things become more abundant and people stop practising nepotism, we can apply it elsewhere. It definitely doesn’t feel good when you’ve been queuing forever only for someone to appear from the inner offices and pick out someone behind you in the queue because they know them and of course, you are left to wait for first-come, first-served. Ironic!

If you’re queuing for food at a wedding and are a regular guest, you can afford to not jostle seeing as your life does not depend on it anyway and you are most likely assured of a meal one way or the other once you go back to your house. But if on the other hand you are queuing for some kind of charity food because you are unable to afford a decent meal, chances are you won’t be so courteous after all.

Question is, do we really believe in the idea of personal-space? What makes it yours anyway? You are after all not in your house but someone else’s premise or the public outdoors. So what makes it your personal space? (See, if you’re at home then members of your family by and large have the freedom to walk in and out of your personal space. That’s why it’s family.)

Well, believe me, we are all entitled to a little breathing space where we would want to believe we are not sharing anybody else’s air (even as an illusion), or that other people are not brushing against our bodies freely like it too is some kind of public property to be jostled about. Which is why those shoulder bashers in town are so annoying (have you met them?).

If there is a personal space, there definitely is a personal body. I take issues with anyone who imagines they have some kind of undisputed right to touch or brush against me without permission, except of course by mistake. Which is why it bothered me immensely the other day when a dude appeared from nowhere while I was purchasing some greens and proceeded to beg for bus-fare apparently to go to hospital. That was not quite the problem though, except the dude was persistent to the point of not only interrupting my purchasing process, but actually touching me continuously while at it. Like he had the right to not only demand for my money, but also take liberty with my body.

‘Please, whatever you do, don’t you dare touch me,’ I told him without any apology. What those nearby thought about that I have no idea but I was not going to have a total stranger physically all over me one way or the other.

He seemed rather faced, but that’s okay. Obviously the word personal body or space were both foreign to him. After my purchase I gave him change amounting to about Sh.20 but he didn’t like the fact it was not in note-form (bill) so he rejected it and I told him if he didn’t like it he could give it to the woman who had just served me. She deserved it more, I figured. And he actually gave it away in a barrage of his native tongue. So much for helping those in need.

Our sitting arrangements are no better. If we find seats or benches in churches, restaurants or other such halls, we will make sure we pack ourselves so tightly until, sometimes, we push the person at the end out. But even on benches please there is a personal space. And if chairs are arranged next to each other we shouldn’t imagine we can find a sitting spot in between the chairs, making those already on the chairs highly uncomfortable. Standing is okay people, if sitting space is over. Or at least look for an agreeable alternative. Don’t even get me started on that gap or hole between the seats near the door in Nissan Matatus where the touts always pretend they are offering you a seat only to push you into this hole once you’re inside. Men we have issues!

To be fair we’ve come a long way in this area. We’ve grown into courtesy, and availability of resources and infrastructure is reducing the need for all the pushing. You’re lucky if you escaped the days where we not only shoved to get into vehicles but, once there, those standing were packed like sardines against each other while those seated also endured an extra person who was planted between them to stand behind the seats. (Yeah, I know. So crazy I don’t have the language to give you the exact picture. You had to be there.) Some of the stuff that happened to those standing at such close proximity was literally illegal. You only hoped the person behind you wasn’t a pervert!

One word or two - Personal-Space. Vitally important, it’s a huge step to true freedom. We’re not in jail so we should be able to decide what happens to us without enduring the body heat and odour (I don’t mean to ruin your dinner) of those around us. Just a foot on either side is all we ask. Really, is that too much?

Snow Again!

Okay, call it what you like but we have snow again, just a village away from where we had it two years ago, mh... snow in Kenya! So it usually starts as torrential rain which turns into heavy hailstones which then form a white, solid sheet of ice that takes much longer to melt than the snow in London.

One freak-show may be excused but two, in such similar version? Both around the month of August only two years apart? And not on the peak of Mt. Kenya either, no, but in the plains of Nyandarua! The white sheet that now covers the area looks pretty much like snow with people walking in and out of it much like you do in snow. This area is now definitely a tourist hot spot and I think in August it should be turned into a Winter sports site... ha ha, seriously though.

Let's face it, Nyandarua may be turning into the Winter region of Kenya. Who knows, maybe the earth has changed direction again and we are now slowly entering the winter zone... jokes jokes.

Well, for those of us who love snow the site of it in Kenya is very refreshing and gratifying, and I hope it carries on snowing (only without all the crop destruction). At least there's a place nearby where Kenyans can see snow without all the hassles of visas and expenses of air fare.

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Peculiar Animal Behaviour

Recently as I drove home I witnessed a peculiar yet curiously refreshing site. As I headed towards the steep slope that beckons me home, I noticed a donkey cart stationery right at the brow of the hill, to my right. So I carefully manoeuvred to the left and, before I quite started the descent, another car approached from the opposite direction uphill. Unfortunately the other car was squarely in the path of the donkey and cart and I stopped to frantically request the cart driver to move and make way for the other car since the ascent is really no place for any car to stop and wait.

The cart driver didn’t seem to be responding to my pleas so I waited to hear why he was being so obviously uncooperative. “Now what am I supposed to do?” came his reply.

At that moment, just as I was about to remind him the brow of a hill was no place for him to park his cart, I noticed the donkey. The poor creature had his chin firmly planted on the ground, literally (even though it was standing upright!) and had decided it was not going anywhere. From the look on its face it was tired out of its wits, looked positively harassed and oppressed, and simply could take no more even if it tried. “Imekataa?” (Has it refused to move?) I asked the beleaguered man. “Eee,” (Yes) he replied.

I could do little for either the donkey and man, or the car now at a standstill on the hill, and I figured the best thing was to drive downhill then maybe the other driver could try and pass from that side.

Later when I told the story to my husband he said “the donkey must have been having a splitting headache,” which I thought was hilarious yet sad and very possibly true.

I sure hope the World Donkey Day will help put some sensitivity into man as far as the treatment of this animal (plus other ‘beasts of burden’) is concerned. I mean given it cannot speak and the closest it can come to telling the owner how it feels is to refuse to move, (among a few other things) we ought to use our senses and know when to give the poor animal a rest.

That reminds me of yet another incident where the donkey had decided if it must move against its will and despite all the weariness, then it would go backwards, not forwards. The owner spent a long time trying to get the donkey to move forward, but the animal was only doing reverse gear today, thank you very much!

You’ve got to hand it to the donkey. Often believed to be very stubborn (wouldn’t you be in its shoes?), the donkey simply seems to have developed effective ways of earning itself a few moments of rest if the care-givers are reluctant to provide it.

Now to a less stubborn creature whose lack of common sense make the results not much different. Along Ngong Road is a place called Embul Bul where sheep love to take a rest on the road, literally. Not on the roadside, no, ON THE ROAD. Mark you this is one of the busiest roads and the very spot they love to relax in is a Matatu (mini-bus) stop. Figure that!

I remember more than once finding the sheep in that interesting formation where they interlock their heads face down, while standing, making them look like they are saying a united prayer. It’s especially comical when they do it on a Sunday like they’ve decided to hold their prayer service right there on the road.

When these sheep decide to look for food in the middle of the road (even though there’s grass on the roadside!), or to say their prayers (or whatever it is they do in that position), they will move for no one or nothing. Not for the dangerous Matatus, the numerous cars, the huge trucks, or sneaky motorbikes.

Well, good luck teaching the sheep the road is not built for their leisure and relaxation. “What, aren’t we Kenyan too?” they seem to bah blah blah in chorus…

Kenya’s New Constitution: The Journey Ends

After a long, eventful and emotional journey, Kenya has come to the end (nearly) of the quest for a New Constitution. I say nearly because what we have now is an anticlimax where the Draft Constitution has been given the go ahead to become law. However the real destination is in the implementation of the same, and positive reforms as expected by our citizens resulting from that implementation.

The winners and losers of the process are all of us. We all win in the good parts of the Constitution, and we all lose in those areas that are negative to our society and democracy. Hopefully the good will overcome the bad. There is only one law for all of us so, no matter how we voted as individuals, the law will apply equally to all of us (well, at least that’s the general idea.)

Undoubtedly our Nation just entered a whole new landscape in terms of administration and legislation. The reforms proposed in the Draft are extensive and if implemented correctly, we will not recognize ourselves for the changes. We will probably spend years getting used to the new systems and new ways of doing things.

Needless to say, getting a New Constitution is the theory of it. Observing it on the other hand will be the challenge for those in positions of authority over us. It is no secret that the current Constitution has been violated over and over again by powerful individuals with little consequence to the offenders. We will be hoping then that the much talked about New Constitution will be followed and respected by all, not just by the common man who gets the blunt of justice for offences while the sacred cows go free over the same. If it is a new dispensation, let it be new indeed. Let the systems that are supposed to guide and protect us not only do so, but also ensure no one is above that law, literally.

Meanwhile there is still no word of arrest or even progress in the investigation over the Uhuru Park blasts, where 6 innocent Kenyans died in the process of exercising their constitutional right concerning the proposed law. At a time where any such acts that border on terrorism are treated with unparalleled seriousness and urgency, it’s curious that our police have made no breakthrough in the case to date. This mars the process and leaves a bad taste in the mouths of many Kenyans, making the way the New Constitution was served to us quite unappetizing. No one expected any Kenyan to have to die over something that was meant to be for all of us. I pray that somehow, the tree that grows out of their bloodshed will be a productive one for posterity.

If the New Constitution can unite us and not divide us, if it results in better systems and governance; if it brings real progress and prosperity to our society and economy, if it ensures proper justice, fairness and freedom; if it prevents individuals and organizations from exploiting the populace, then we will have won, we will have achieved, we will be the better for it. If not then it is just another expensive, time wasting gimmick.

Most constitutions are good if properly implemented. But all constitutions can be abused and rendered ineffective in providing an enabling atmosphere. We hope that the political will that was demonstrated in pushing for the Draft Constitution will likewise be demonstrated in implementing the New Law.

It is refreshing to note that Kenyans from across the political divide can unite so strongly over issues of national importance. I hope this is a new trend to be henceforth repeated in all issues concerning the nation, and that national elections will no longer be about personalities but rather, about issues important to our country, our citizens. This is indeed a fine hour, a defining moment.

Amidst all the uncertainty, there’s real progress here, real gain, real treasure.

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Bravo, our Athletes and Inspiring Audience

A most beautiful and wonderful event, with Kenya taking on the African Senior Athletics Championships 2010 Title. With 10 gold, 7 silver and 8 bronze medals, totaling 25, there's hardly anything left to add; the record speaks for itself. Kenya discovered new talent in events formally presumed not to be our stronghold like the sprint relays.

A galvanizing spirit ahead of next Wednesday's referendum. Let's keep the peace, the love, the unity. Let's vote for Kenya only.

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